I am emotionally preparing myself for an unsatisfying "Game of Thrones" ending

Warning: this post is dark and full of spoilers.

More than once, my friends have told me I am pessimistic. I counter that I am realistic, and since reality is sadly often shitty, I like to be prepared. Which is why, about halfway through the most recent episode of Game of Thrones, "The Last of the Starks," I realized I had to confront a reality that I've been dodging like Arya hiding from the wights during the Battle of Winterfell - I am most likely going to be disappointed in the GoT series finale, and I need to start accepting that now.

Look, I don't want to be disappointed. I'm not wishing failure on the showrunners out of some perverted sense of schaudenfreude.  I'm not saying I won't find some, if not most of it, entertaining, thrilling, and heart-breaking. But as the number of remaining episodes dwindle, I (like everyone hiding in the crypts) must face the truth: in its final act, Game of Thrones has largely foregone sound narrative structure and logical character motivations in favor of CGI-enhanced spectacle and the delivery of long-promised confrontations, even if they no longer make sense plot-wise, leaving me frustrated, irritated and ultimately unfulfilled.

I had high hopes at the beginning of Season 8. I knew there was a lot to set up in the first few episodes, and so remained optimistic that if plot points were glossed over, or seemed a little too convenient, they would be addressed later, or were in service of building a stronger narrative. But with only two episodes left, I can no longer pretend that it isn't because, like Theon's beheading of Ser Rodrik Cassel back in Season 2, the showrunners are getting sloppy in the final execution.

"The Last of the Starks" drove this home for me for a number of reasons. Let's start with the opening - yes, it was a beautifully moving sequence that let us say goodbye to some of our favorite fallen warriors (pour one out for Jorah Mormont, Theon Greyjoy, Dolorous Edd, Beric Dondarrion, and my girl, Lyanna Mormont) before transitioning into a joyous celebration the likes of which we've never seen on Game of Thrones. But after eight seasons of the looming existential threat of the Army of the Dead, and the incalculable harm they did even before the Battle of Winterfell, we're still left with a lot of questions. What was it all for? What did the Night King want? Why did everyone in the Army of the Living agree to such a spectacularly awful battle plan? No one at Winterfell seems to care, and apparently neither should we. From where I stand, it seems like the whole Army of the Dead B-story existed simply to deplete Dany's army, and set Jon up as some sort of brilliant Everyman hero (more on that in a sec). If there's more to it than that, please tell me, D&D. Really, I'd love to hear it. Because if there's not, then seriously, WHAT. THE. FUCK.

With only two episodes left, the Army of the Dead's purpose is one of the myriad unanswered questions that Game of Thrones has posed to us over the last eight years. The Ringer has a fantastic piece detailing all of Game of Thrones' loose ends heading into the final season. While I don't expect an answer to every single one of these questions (much like Davos, I had forgotten that he had a wife and am also unconcerned with her well-being). But there's no arguing that there are some long-running, overarching-theme-related MAJOR questions that Season 8 ought to answer in order for this story to have a satisfying conclusion.

When we've gotten answers, they've been hurried, illogical, or inconsequential. Like this question about Theon and Yara - the answer is, Well, yeah, kinda. Sure, Theon got to reunite with his Stark foster family and complete his redemption arc by dying for them, albeit in a rather rushed fashion. Meanwhile, Yara hasn't been seen since Theon sprung her from Euron's ship in Episode 1, and with everything else that's going in Westeros, who knows if we will see her again?

As for the unanswered questions, one most confront the possibility that we just might never know if the Children of the Forest still exist or if Azor Ahai is a real entity. Which contradicts the whole storytelling principle of set-up and payoff, and really grinds my gears. A few red herrings is one thing, but leaving eight seasons worth of questions unanswered (or forcing viewers to dedicate another 70-odd hours to seeking answers) is just sloppy storytelling.

There's also the fact that the story we are being told no longer holds up to scrutiny. For example, there is Dany's primary dilemma -  how to take out Cersei without killing innocent civilians and decimating King's Landing. If only Dany and her army had a person on their side who was trained to be a silent, invisible assassin, with a literal bag of tricks and a kill list a mile long...OH WAIT THEY TOTALLY DO! The fact that no one even suggests that they send Arya in undercover to give Cersai the Walder Frey Special is proof that the showrunners are stuck in the quagmire of adhering to logic versus delivering on expectations, and can't get themselves unstuck. The final battle for the Iron Throne has been so woven into the show's DNA that to not have it happen would be a letdown, even though there's no longer any logical reason for it.

Having Arya assassinate Cersai is one reasonable outcome. Cersai also had the opportunity to wipe out Dany, Tyrion, and their entourage during the negotiations outside King's Landing in last week's episode. What stopped her from putting a spear through Dany's heart and ending the whole thing then and there?  Nothing, except that we were promised a battle, and by god, we will have one!

Would it have been a brutal and unexpected way for Dany to die? Of course, but killing beloved characters in a brutal and unexpected way is what got GoT its street cred in the first place. Maybe, at this late stage of the game, we're seeing why, although great for shock value and ratings, this is not a sound storytelling strategy. When you start off with the most jaw-dropping climax possible, where do you go from there? My fear is that, even after eight years, the showrunners never figured out an answer to that question, and as a result, we're getting a conclusion that can't possibly live up to the thrilling, surprising nature of the beginning.

There's also the issue of how, now that the long-awaited Great War is finally here, Dany and Jon are being positioned. Once we had confirmation that Jon is indeed a Targaryen with a better claim to the throne than Dany, we knew the honeymoon would be over between these two. But I did not expect the tide to turn so rapidly against Dany, especially among her trusted advisers and those she risked her life to save. If Dany is feeling a little overwhelmed and full of rage right now, she has every right to be. Her Hand to the Queen has made one bad decision after another, and in rapid succession she lost a significant chunk of her army; her two closest, most trusted confidantes; two dragons, and quite possibly her whole dang claim to the throne.

Having Dany go into the fight against Cersai as the underdog is an intriguing choice, but not if it only serves to make Dany that which she always tried not be - a cruel, unjust, pyromaniac murderer like her father. Is she a flawed character? Yes - so is everyone on this bloody show. That's why it's good. That's why we watch it. Forget the Iron Throne  - if the conclusion of Dany's journey is that all of her efforts and growth were for naught, and she just ends up being the second coming of the Mad King, the show does a great disservice to her and itself.

As for Jon Snow, he continues to know nothing, and that is why if he ends up on the Iron Throne, I will flip a fucking table. I've been saying for several seasons that Jon Snow is the worst (and I'm not the only one who thinks so), and nothing he's done in the past four episodes has changed my mind. And yet, as of the conclusion of the most recent episode, the possibility that he ends up as the King of Westeros feels very real. I don't need to see an inept, dim-witted man who doesn't even really want the job leap-frog into power over a more qualified woman just because the public thinks she should smile more. I lived through the 2016 U.S. presidential election, thank you very much.

Is it possible that, at this point, the only way for Game of Thrones to break the rules and shock us is by playing by the rules, and placing the show's most conventional hero on the Iron Throne? Or do the showrunners really have an astonishing, unexpected finale up their sleeve? I am not as confident as I would like to be, and while I remain hopeful going into the final episodes, I must temper my expectations, lest I be as utterly disappointed and devastated as Brienne when fuckboy Jaime bounced out of Winterfell. (Quick, Brienne, I bet you can still catch up with Tormund and Ghost!!)