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I didn't write a blog post yesterday.
I said, starting Sunday, I was going to spend 20 minutes every day writing a blog post, and at the end of that 20 minutes, so matter what I had, I'd post it. I didn't write a blog post yesterday, the second day of this little experiment to overcome my inner critic and let my creativity flow with more freedom and less judgement. Honestly, I completely forgot. It was a busy day . I had a lot of things to cross off my to-do list and then I had dinner with a friend and then I came home and packed for trip I'm going on and I really and truly did not remember this little bargain I had made with myself until I was half-asleep watching "Great British Bake-off" reruns. "Well," I thought in my drowsy brain, "I guess I'll just try again tomorrow." So here I am, trying. These first couple paragraphs came easy. I just looked at my timer, and only 7 minutes have gone by. Wow. But now I'm starting to struggle. Where do I go from here? Do I want to make some profound statement about how sometimes failing can actually be succeeding, especially if you're trying to unlearn perfectionism? Some wise words about how it's okay to give yourself grace and compassion when you don't live up to the expectations you set for yourself, and that beating yourself up isn't going to help anything? Ugh, it's probably going to end up sounding so preachy. The truth is, you were tired and said, "Fuck it." There wasn't a lot of...profundity? Profoundness? (Hold please for Google, knower of all things...) Profundity. There wasn't a lot of profundity in that thought. I could talk about the complicated relationship I have with the concepts of success and failure, wherein they exist in absolute terms and one is "good" and the other is "bad"...I guess it's not that complicated, really. Teaching a person to think about these concepts in rigid, absolute terms is a great way to create a perfectionist, by the way. So maybe that's why I shouldn't think of it as a failure to fulfill my goal of writing a 20-minute blog post every day, but as a success in acknowledging that I'm not perfect and sometimes I fall short and that's okay. I can always try again tomorrow. Comments are closed.
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November 2022
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